Good morning all , today I have the pleasure of introducing you to PLUCK AND COVER by JD Blackrose .
About
the Book:
It’s lipstick and lies, murder and
mascara, when (unnaturally long-lived) cosmetologist to the stars Waylon
Jenkins is dragged into a murder investigation by the local police captain.
Bodies are showing up with limbs missing
and Captain Perkins thinks the zombie is the killer because “who else needs the
spare parts?” Waylon’s a lover not a fighter but he’s forced to clear his name
in Pluck & Cover with the help of a few zany friends and a couple of
off-color jokes.
Excerpts:
I couldn’t find my penis. I’d last seen it
on the nightstand next to my walk-in freezer, but when I emerged in the
morning, it wasn’t there. I didn’t need a penis, but I’d had twenty human years
with one, and I’d gotten used to it.
“Mrs. Ross? Are you here? Have you seen my
penis?” “You need a new one, Waylon.” Mrs. Betsy Ross’ specter floated into my
room, holding the missing appendage.
“I know, but they have to be fresh and
coming upon a juicy, still-warm body is a tricksy thing. Can you please sew
this one back on?”
“You don’t urinate or have sexual
relations.”
I sighed. “Mrs. Ross, it is humiliating
enough to ask you to connect my male member to my body, please don’t make it
worse.”
“Fine.” She sniffed. “Sit on the couch.”
I followed her to the living room, placed
my rear on the couch, spread my legs, and closed my eyes while one of history’s
greatest seamstresses made me whole again. If I could have blushed, I would
have reddened from my toes to my ears. As it was, I squirmed until she smacked
me on the thigh.
“If you want this sewn on properly, you’ll
stop your fidgeting.”
I held still but stared out the sliding
back doors at an Evergreen Pear tree, fists clenched. The tree’s beauty
distracted me, the white flowers still visible, the bees and birds swooping in
and out. I was glad it was thriving in the northern exposure. I had worried it
was too far west and would need more early morning sun, but it was doing well.
“There,” Mrs. Ross said, rubbing her hands
together, bringing me back to the situation at hand. “I’m done, but it looks
mighty sad.”
“What’s looking mighty sad?”
I hadn’t heard him come in, but Dr. Samuel
Early peered over Mrs. Ross’ shoulder, extracted his reading glasses from his
shirt pocket, and placed them on his nose.
“It’s too gray,” he said.
“It’s not.” I pushed them both away and
closed my legs.
Praise
for the Book:
"Waylon Jenkins is not your typical
detective. For one thing, he’s a cosmetologist and make-up artist. For another,
he’s dead. Now, this zombie with a keen wit and a warm (non-beating) heart is
teaming up with a ghost and the local police captain to find out who’s killing
and dismembering men in LA. “Pluck and Cover” delivers paranormal chills,
plenty of twists and turns, and lots of laughs along with a one-of-a-kind
protagonist readers will want to check in with again and again. " - Casey
Daniels, author of “Don of the Dead”
(Pepper Martin Series)
About
the Author:
J.D. Blackrose loves all things
storytelling and celebrates great writing by posting about it on her website,
www.slipperywords.com. She has published multiple series through Falstaff
Books, as well as numerous short stories. She spends a lot of time chatting
with the imaginary people in her head and is often accused of having a hearing
problem. As a survival tactic, she has mastered the art of looking interested.
She credits her parents for teaching her to ask questions, and in lieu of
facts, how to make up answers.
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