Good morning all , today I have the pleasure of introducing you to PLUCK AND COVER by JD Blackrose .
About the Book:
It’s lipstick and lies, murder and mascara, when (unnaturally long-lived) cosmetologist to the stars Waylon Jenkins is dragged into a murder investigation by the local police captain.
Bodies are showing up with limbs missing and Captain Perkins thinks the zombie is the killer because “who else needs the spare parts?” Waylon’s a lover not a fighter but he’s forced to clear his name in Pluck & Cover with the help of a few zany friends and a couple of off-color jokes.
I couldn’t find my penis. I’d last seen it on the nightstand next to my walk-in freezer, but when I emerged in the morning, it wasn’t there. I didn’t need a penis, but I’d had twenty human years with one, and I’d gotten used to it.
“Mrs. Ross? Are you here? Have you seen my penis?” “You need a new one, Waylon.” Mrs. Betsy Ross’ specter floated into my room, holding the missing appendage.
“I know, but they have to be fresh and coming upon a juicy, still-warm body is a tricksy thing. Can you please sew this one back on?”
“You don’t urinate or have sexual relations.”
I sighed. “Mrs. Ross, it is humiliating enough to ask you to connect my male member to my body, please don’t make it worse.”
“Fine.” She sniffed. “Sit on the couch.”
I followed her to the living room, placed my rear on the couch, spread my legs, and closed my eyes while one of history’s greatest seamstresses made me whole again. If I could have blushed, I would have reddened from my toes to my ears. As it was, I squirmed until she smacked me on the thigh.
“If you want this sewn on properly, you’ll stop your fidgeting.”
I held still but stared out the sliding back doors at an Evergreen Pear tree, fists clenched. The tree’s beauty distracted me, the white flowers still visible, the bees and birds swooping in and out. I was glad it was thriving in the northern exposure. I had worried it was too far west and would need more early morning sun, but it was doing well.
“There,” Mrs. Ross said, rubbing her hands together, bringing me back to the situation at hand. “I’m done, but it looks mighty sad.”
“What’s looking mighty sad?”
I hadn’t heard him come in, but Dr. Samuel Early peered over Mrs. Ross’ shoulder, extracted his reading glasses from his shirt pocket, and placed them on his nose.
“It’s too gray,” he said.
“It’s not.” I pushed them both away and closed my legs.
Praise for the Book:
"Waylon Jenkins is not your typical detective. For one thing, he’s a cosmetologist and make-up artist. For another, he’s dead. Now, this zombie with a keen wit and a warm (non-beating) heart is teaming up with a ghost and the local police captain to find out who’s killing and dismembering men in LA. “Pluck and Cover” delivers paranormal chills, plenty of twists and turns, and lots of laughs along with a one-of-a-kind protagonist readers will want to check in with again and again. " - Casey Daniels, author of “Don of the Dead” (Pepper Martin Series)
About the Author:
J.D. Blackrose loves all things storytelling and celebrates great writing by posting about it on her website, www.slipperywords.com. She has published multiple series through Falstaff Books, as well as numerous short stories. She spends a lot of time chatting with the imaginary people in her head and is often accused of having a hearing problem. As a survival tactic, she has mastered the art of looking interested. She credits her parents for teaching her to ask questions, and in lieu of facts, how to make up answers.<a class="rcptr" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/9751c04235/" rel="nofollow" data-raflid="9751c04235" data-theme="classic" data-template="" id="rcwidget_4rama6gv">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a>